What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
