We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
