my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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