He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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