found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
