Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
