How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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