I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
third nipple confirmed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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