I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize