we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize