how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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