I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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