chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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