I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
