people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
