If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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