I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
