pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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