You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
