I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
