Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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