Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
