So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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