i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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