If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
A bitchslap is in order.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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