Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
