Welp...herpes.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
