Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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