I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just googled if crying burns calories
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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