Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize