He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Text me some of your sweat
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