there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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