Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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