Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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