I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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