And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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