And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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