I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
