dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
