Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
foreskin is a definite game changer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize