dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
