I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
