He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
