office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
