My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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