Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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