we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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