mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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