She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
