is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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