In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
