Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just pynch a tree in the face
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
