they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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