So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
