Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
