I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
