HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
