I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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