Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dick very happy bro
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
